i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She bit a glass in half.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
