My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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