Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
