Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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