I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
