Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
