I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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