You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
