One girl and one boy is just not enough.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
