you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
