So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
