My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
