My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
