I think I just saw someone hide a body.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
