my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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