Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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