i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
