I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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