i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Semen is not good for contacts.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
