Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
