I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
