i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
