she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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