trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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