I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
