Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
May the power of my ass compel you!!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
