Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
