Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
