dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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