why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
