i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just high enough for therapy.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
How drunk are you?
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