ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
