You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
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