Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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