Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize