i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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