what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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