i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
