No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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