he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
