half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize