I cannot find my penis.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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