your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
