piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Are these your boobs on my camera?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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