So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize