That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize