where am i from again
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
