It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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