Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The struggles of a small town man whore
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
