you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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