So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
