you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
