Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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