ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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