it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
ok first of all what the fuck
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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