so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
