Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
