somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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