I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
