I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
so let's talk penis.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
