That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I am spending my child support on dildos
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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